Awe-Struck and Overwhelmed

This post has been in the making for a week as a draft...but for nearly a year as a dream in my heart.  Last Wednesday afternoon, I experienced the moment that I have been anticipating for what seemed like a mini-eternity.

Last Wednesday I was offered a job that has been on my heart for nearly 4 years.  From the first time I walked into the Lino Lakes campus of Eagle Brook Church in 2007, I knew that God had amazing plans for EBC and for me. I felt his presence in a way that I had never experienced before. You can read some of my thoughts from last fall here.  Looking back on what was on my heart last fall, I am moved to tears.  God's faithfulness is so incredible.  If I had been told 4 years ago that I would be writing this post today, I would have laughed in your face and told you that I would never live in Minnesota or work in a church.  God had other plans.  Better plans.

I have nearly worn out my backspace key as I strive to write what has been on my heart over the last year.  Ya know that quote that says something along the lines of  "a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step" or something like that??  Well, I have a new version for you...

"A journey of a thousand interviews begins with just one online application."

I feel like my new quote summarizes the last 10-12 months of my life.  Here are some bullet point to catch you up to speed.

• August 2010- start as Early Childhood Intern
• September- learn leadership skills and realize how much I love this place. Attract some attention while I serve. I HAVE THE BEST INTERNSHIP EVER
•  Early October- get shoulder tapped to apply for Elementary Pastor job.  Apply online.
• October/November/December- 4 interviews, 1 lunch, 1 coffee meeting, lots of chatter around the office... a long period of waiting (aka-nauseousness).
• December- torture while out of state for nearly 4 weeks.
• January 2011- Coffee meeting to be encouraged to keep learning and hear an anticipated, but still very hard rejection.
• January- Continue living life, interning (walking in with my head held high when all I wanted to do was hide)
• February- Word of 5th campus coming sooner than anticipated
• Late March- get offered temporary job
• April- start temp job that literally taught me more than an entire year of school.
• May- apply for dream job, graduate college, feel lost and confused
• May/June/July- jump through ALL the hoops for dream job.  Coffee, interviews, references, teaching observations, whispers around the office, tears, rejecting other job opportunities, another interview, some more observation...literally ALL THE THINGS.
• Late July- Get job offer for dream job, accept job offer, finish out temporary job, start new job (all in a period of 3 days)
• Early August- I am an Early Childhood Pastor at EBC. loving life.  Living the dream.  Great job.  Great boss.  Great co-workers.  Great volunteers.

So there you have it...the last year in a nutshell.  Every single step along the way grew me in a way that I can't even express in words.  

I CANNOT say that these last 10 months have been easy.  They were filled with sleepless nights, nausea, worry and doubt.  My mind was consumed with thoughts of inadequacy, fear and worry.  My heart was hurt. My commitment was challenged.  My patience was tested.

But, what I CAN say is that through all of it, God has been faithful.  So faithful that I can't even express how He has orchestrated this amazing time in my life.  He knew all along.  I have been taking steps along this crazy path that He has prepared, wondering why He was putting me through it.  When all along, He wanted me to learn.  He wanted me to understand His faithfulness at a new level.  He wanted me to build strong relationships with my co-workers.  He wanted me to learn what it means to trust Him.  He wanted me to learn what it means to lead.  He used experiences to prepare me for the next step.  He showed me the pain that sin causes in our world.  He showed me the joy of coming alongside kids who want to make Him the leader of their lives.  He showed me the importance of relationships.  He gave me mentors.  He gave me confidence, experience and wisdom.

If things had gone according to my plan, I would have missed out on so much.  His plan is way better.  His faithfulness and love are overwhelming.  I am in awe of the One who knows every step of my journey.  I am so excited for what is next.

I could write for days.  I want to remember these thoughts for years to come.  I want to remember how I felt in the midst of the pain and how I feel now on the other side.  I want to remember how I am thankful for the journey that I took to get where I am now.  For when life is hard...I want to remember this level of trust and reliance on God.  When things end well, it is easy to trust Him...but what about when everything is hard?  I want to remember that God is faithful through it all.  He has taught me so much.  I am awe-struck and overwhelmed by His faithfulness.