What If...?

Am I the only one who wonders what life would be like if one decision would have been made differently??


Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I decided to go to a state school in Indiana.  I wonder what life would be like if I had decided that serving with kids at church was as lame as it sounded when I was 15.  I wonder what would be different if I had decided that Minnesota was too far for school.


What if Northwestern College would have been my second choice?  What if I had never been a nanny for the family that invited me to attend Eagle Brook Church with them almost 4 years ago?  What if my pride had stopped me from attending EBC alone for years?


Would God have led me to this place that has changed me as a person?  Developed my passion for reaching people for Christ? Given me a hope in the local church that can only come from being surrounded by passionate leaders who are empowered by Christ? Taught me things like acceptance, effective conflict management and patience?  Drawn me closer to His heart?  Given me opportunities to lead?  


I am so grateful for the opportunities that have come along the path that has been set out for me.  


When I am stuck in the moment, wondering what is next, I have to force myself to remember that God knows what He is doing.


When I want nothing more than to have a meltdown due to excessive uncertainty, I have to remind myself that all things are certain to the One who has the perfect plan for me.


When my heart is unsettled and my thoughts run wild in the quiet of my room as I struggle to fall asleep, God has a plan that is so amazing that I cannot even begin to fathom what He has in store.


When my frustration builds as time passes, I have to remember that His plans are always good.


When I am overcome with fear, doubt and insecurity, I have to remember that my identity is found in Him, not in the things that I do.


When I wonder...What if?...What now?...Am I good enough?...Is this the right thing?...What if I fail?  I need to rest in the arms of the all-powerful King of the Universe who will do what is best for me. 


He wants what is best for me.  He knows what is best for me.  It might not be easy, but it will be perfect.  Because He is perfect.